One of the things in my “EveryDays”, that helps me snap out of my Ever-Daze is to See, Feel, and Experience whatever shows up for me at the moment it comes into my awareness. To Stop, Look & Listen at the Inspirations that I come across throughout the day. Some I just witness in awe and others pull me into a mode of reflection… What does this mean to me? Why is this showing up for me now?
This image spoke to me. Spending some time with this image brought up loads of feelings… questions and opportunity… the opportunity to take a good look at where I was, why I was where I am and where I wanted to be. The first thing that came in loud and clear is that I am not where I want to be and I have been trying to hide it from the outside while reeling on the inside. Ugh, I am going through another cycle of juggling feelings of vulnerability, sadness, loss, doubt and an overall life-in-limbo on the brink of another major change haze.
It’s been months of being a sofa-dweller while helping my daughter, everything I own a 12-hour car ride away. I can rationalize and make excuses all I want, yet the simple fact is that I am not comfortable with what is going on around me and it is causing much to go on inside me, making me uncomfortable with me. So I ask myself over and over, “What is going on inside me that I am allowing it to zap my joy? Why am I stuck? Why?”
Self-says to Self …
“You know you can choose at any time to see this differently and not let it take hold.”
“Why are you beating yourself up?”
At some point, I will … see it differently.
For now, I will just accept that there is something that I need to acknowledge, learn, work through … Accept and Let go of …
While I process…
I will be gentle with myself
I will light candles and drink tea
I will stare at the flame for hours on end
I will dance and pray with utter abandon…
For in those moments,
even if brief … for now,
I can free myself
Allow a few simple gestures
Bring in some much-needed Joy.
Image: Stockfresh Stephane Bidouze
2 Replies to “Stuck in an Ever-Daze”
The image spoke to me too. Even more so, your words of self-care speak volumes.
Danne, whatever shifts you are experiencing from within (and it seems as though also from a sense of “without”) must contain a rich wealth of wisdom and benefits. Those deepest introspective times reveal the most impressive flow of all that we THINK we lack. I hope you will share your journey as the path unfolds.
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Appreciate that Jan. Self-care is at the top for me right now. The only thing that’s constant is change. Yes, you are so spot on – within and without. With all the changes, riding the flux, I find myself shifting in so many ways. So much is coming up, I’m struggling to keep up. Things I thought resolved – not. Things I thought I knew the answer to for myself – nope. It’s not the material that I’m missing so much, although I do have favorite stuff, it’s a sense of security. Also, not having access to the things that I enjoy as part of my ritual, routines and art, parts of my everydays as part of my self-care is what I think I am lacking. Feeling completely exposed and vulnerable that’s hard for me right now and I suppose a sense that my entire life is alien to me at some level. All of that just brought a few more things to mind!
I thank you, Dearest Jan. You always seem to validate, encourage or gently nudge … and for me, that’s a very Good Thing.
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