Surrender

Like so many, I chose a word and theme for this year. My theme for this year is Surrender. Well actually, last year too! I oscillate between Surrender and Grace. It’s been exciting and at times, a wee bit scary to see how my life is unfolding and to not only live it, but consciously, with new levels of understanding; experience it, accept it and at times let go.

This blog – writing, is one of those scary changes that is unfolding. It is scary to do something that has never come easy to me as an introvert, the deep thinker, a watcher. I am putting myself out there. Go figure, a Leo who finds strength in solitude. Yeah, yeah; not always so cut and dry so I’m sure there’s a lot more to it. Scorpio Rising, Aries Moon, PTSD and the list goes on and on.

To learn, grow, understand and be more mindful. This blog in and of itself may in some way be a surrender – as I surrender to a desire to connect with things on a more personal, intimate level and come out of my comfort zone – to come out of my self-imposed isolation. I have a tendency to hibernate for long periods of time. It doesn’t help that I totally don’t mind my own company. That may be all good yet does nothing to create inter-personal relationships.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy people. I love people, being with people, my family, grandchildren and I have great friends! It’s just that I can go long periods of time completely focused on whatever has my attention at the time. Whatever research I am doing, whatever I am creating, whatever I am studying and so on. So now, I am allowing myself a little more transparency … open and vulnerable with heart, feelings, and anything else that may come into the moments that I call my “Hoppin’ Life”…

Everyone I know keeps saying “Start where you are”, it will all tie together – just write, post and repeat. So where am I?

On the outside, I am in Pennsylvania, a little displaced with everything I own still in South Carolina. Trying to help my daughter and myself I decided to pick up on a few of my long forgotten, older loves & joys – Journaling and Art. SoulCollage(R) and Art Journaling are becoming my new best Self-care friends.

On the Inside, I am allowing myself to just go with the Flow. Allowing my intentions to manifest and see what doors open and what doors close. I am taking this time to work on some of the lingering and underlying currents from PTSD, find my voice, trust my own intuition and set a course.
This is the jumping point for this process of learning as I go, and it seems that’s pretty much a good analogy for daily living.

What better way to remain mindful and see the Sacredness in everything than to jump right in and not only start blogging but actually hit publish! … and open my world right up.

Photo credits:

Header: Kellepics

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jennifer ostrader